MLB’s strangest injuries in 2023, from a basketball mishap in a pool to a bathroom setback

Every year around this time, we marvel at the many creative ways baseball players find to appear on the ever-popular Strange But True Injuries of the Year leaderboard.

So we’d like to thank this year’s baseball population for… making breakfast… playing the piano… and doing their best to get in and out of the hotel bathroom safely. But you know what’s especially surprising? None of those mishaps topped this list!

Actually? Yes really. So here they come, the strangest but truest injuries of 2023.

First prize: Eye confess!

We always award Injury of the Year bonus points to guys who manage to get injured when they’re already injured. So here’s Rays relief warrior Pete Fairbanks, who couldn’t even hide the Giannis impersonation that got him into this mess.

When Fairbanks met with the Rays’ media delegation in June after returning from a stint on the disabled list with hip inflammation, he brought with him a dazzling black eye and one of the great How I Did This stories of the century. XXI.

Turns out this could happen to you too. If you try to wet your 3 year old in the pool.

“I put the pool basketball hoop in my face after dunking on a 3-year-old,” Fairbanks confessed, “to teach him an early lesson in life that when you’re in the paint, you can’t be catch”. unprepared below the edge.”

To which we can only hope that his son said: Send it, Jerome!

Second prize: It’s all the alarm clock’s fault!

Yusei Kikuchi really needs his Zs. (Rich Story/USA Today)

We’ve always thought of Blue Jays starter Yusei Kikuchi as a sleeping giant.

Little did we know!

Why did he have an early exit after a great start in September at Yankee Stadium? Because he cowered, he said, after sleeping “only” 11 hours – unlike your usual 12 to 2 p.m. Therefore, he may not lead the league in closeouts. What the hell. You have to love his chances of leading the league with his eyes closed. And if this is one of your dream goals, T-shirts are available!

Third prize: When you (and your back) have to go

When Diamondbacks third baseman Evan Longoria injured his back last July, he was only supposed to miss a week or so. So why did it become three weeks? Because, according to himself, his back got worse. get off the bathroom in the bathroom of a hotel in San Francisco.

So you thought kissing could be dangerous for a baseball player’s career, right? Be careful with the latrine!

Fourth prize: There goes your walk ratio

Tony Gonsolin successfully comes off the mound during a July start. (Jerónimo Mirón / USA Today)

Need more proof that most spring training drills are overrated? Dodgers pitcher Tony Gonsolin went through a routine fielding drill during spring training last March, and he got through the fielding portion well. Turns out it was his exit strategy he should have been working on.

He stumbled leaving the field, sprained his ankle and missed the first four weeks of the season. But was it worth it? He didn’t make a single mistake all season!

Fifth prize: they had plenty of time to be an even better father

Finally, there were so many great moments in parenting this season… that led to not-so-great moments in trying to get to the field… so we’re summarizing them here. If your families print this and frame it, it should make a lovely Father’s Day gift.

Giants pitcher Anthony DeSclafani broke his toe… playing the piano with his son!

Adam Wainwright burned his finger… making breakfast for his son!

Josh Donaldson Cut His Thumb While Making a Toy for His Daughter!

All of that seems problematic. But hey, at least they didn’t try to dunk their kids in the pool.

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(Top photo by Pete Fairbanks: Patrick Smith/Getty Images)