His team was tied 1-1 at the time. It was late in the game, under the spotlight, when they missed their chance to take the lead.
And that was the moment Tony, a Sheffield United fan, lost his temper and shouted something at Matt Turner, the Nottingham Forest goalkeeper, that he could never take back.
“We had just taken a shot that went wide. The goalkeeper went to collect the ball behind the goal and made a small gesture to the visiting fans. Nothing bad, nothing that should have bothered me, but I lost my cool for 10 seconds. I started yelling, ‘Keep going, you motherfucker.’
“It was 10 seconds of stupidity. There were two people in front of me who immediately turned around and said, ‘You shouldn’t shout that, you shouldn’t say that.’ I knew they were right. “I know,” I said, “I’m sorry.” “I knew it was wrong and I could end up in trouble for it.”
The following day, Tony, who is in his 50s, was reported by his fellow Sheffield United fans. They had the number of his seat at Forest’s City Ground that day and a description of what he looked like. The club got in touch and he immediately accepted that he was guilty of homophobic abuse.
A letter arrived to inform him that he had been banned from Bramall Lane, pending an investigation, and he was summoned to a police station to determine whether he should face a criminal charge or if there was another way to deal with it.
All of this brought Tony’s attention to Kick It Out, English football’s largest anti-discrimination organisation, and led to him being referred to a fan education workshop as a form of extrajudicial restorative justice.
Matt Turner was the target of ‘Tony’s homophobic slur. (Michael Regan/Getty Images)
Tony is not the fan’s real name. He does not want to be identified because of the impact the publicity would have on his family but he has agreed to become the first perpetrator of Kick it Out’s anti-discrimination program to speak out about how it works, what he learned and the importance of education. to criminals that their actions have consequences.
“I didn’t realize Kick It Out had been going since the 1990s,” he says. “I thought it was something new and it was just about racism. Until now, I had never really thought about other types of discrimination. I was never cautious about it. But now I realize that I needed to receive an education. I learned my lesson, but I also learned a lot more.”
We meet in Sheffield and, early, Tony leans over to show something to Alan Bush, Kick It Out’s fan engagement and education manager.
“Take a look at this,” he says in a broad Sheffield accent.
He lifts up his pant leg and reveals that he is wearing a pair of rainbow socks.
“They were now. That’s one of the dumbest things I ever did. My daughter is gay. My stepdaughter too. “They gave me the socks for Christmas.”
He met Bush for the first time last September, four weeks after the game at Forest that led to police involvement.
It was a two-hour workshop at the City Ground, Forest’s home stadium, and Tony made it clear from the start that he was there to listen and learn.
Bush explained the various forms of discrimination that contaminate the game and spoke in detail about the impact a hate crime can have on victims.
Bush explained the story of a Tottenham Hotspur fan who was predominantly involved with the LGBTQ fan group Proud Lilywhites and stopped going to matches due to homophobic chants.
Through a slideshow, he and Tony spoke about the racist abuse suffered by England internationals Jadon Sancho, Bukayo Saka and Marcus Rashford, as well as the experiences of Blackpool’s Jake Daniels and the late Justin Fashanu as gay footballers. They talked about Rainbow Blades (Sheffield United’s LGBTQ group), why it needed to exist and how its members would feel if they heard one of the club’s supporters shouting homophobic slurs.
Sheffield United captain Oliver Norwood wearing a rainbow armband against Burnley this season. (Matt McNulty/Getty Images)
Bush then explained the consequences for violators, with the threat of prosecution, prison sentences and travel bans.
“Throughout the session, (Tony) became increasingly aware of his wrongdoings,” Bush said. “When we got to the hate crime legislation and its consequences, he seemed surprised by what a different outcome could have been for him and how it could have changed his life.”
This is Bush’s specialized topic. Kick It Out’s referrals come from the police or football clubs and Bush’s job is to meet offenders, one on one, and pass on his recommendations to the relevant clubs. In the last three years he has given more than 200 sessions.
“The important thing to remember,” he tells Tony, “is that even if you call it a moment of madness, it’s still a hate crime. Caused harassment, alarm or distress. As a result, he could end up in court and be banned from football. “You could lose your job and all sorts of other consequences.”
It certainly helps that Bush is deeply embedded in football culture. He dresses like a fan, because that’s exactly what he is. He has been going to Newcastle United, home and away, since the days of the open terraces at St James’ Park. He’s a big guy (short hair, Fred Perry shirt, old-school Adidas trainers) and it’s easy to see why the average man on the street would identify with him more easily than, say, a Premier League executive in a suit. .
You also don’t need a long stay at Bush’s company to realize that he cares deeply about his work. He has received training in hate crime procedures and worked as an anti-social behavior officer in London.
Alan Bush, who runs Kick It Out’s educational course for banned fans. (Throw it out)
“At the end of the session, he asked me what I was going to do when I was allowed to watch the games again,” Tony says. “I said, ‘I’ll sit quietly and jump when we score, which doesn’t happen very often as a Sheffield United fan.’
“But Alan said, ‘I don’t want you to be like that, it’s okay to jump and shout all you want, as long as it’s not racism, it’s not against disabled people, gender reassignment or religion and beliefs.’ . You realize that football is not just for white, straight men. It’s for everyone”.
Of all the people who attended the Kick It Out rehabilitation workshop, Bush can only remember one occasion when he found it difficult to get the message across to someone: a man who had shouted an anti-Muslim term at an opposing player.
Only one person, a member of the England Supporters Travel Club, has been a repeat offender. That person was banned from playing football for three years, and when that period expires, Bush will likely see him again. However, the vast majority of people react more positively. Many criminals cannot explain why they did what they did.
In Tony’s case, it didn’t seem to matter that night that the player he was abusing was straight. The insult was just a thoughtless insult that could have been applied to any opponent at the time. He had not drunk and did not consider himself homophobic.
“He couldn’t give a specific response for his actions,” Bush said. “I kept saying it was stupid, that I wasn’t thinking and that maybe they were ‘jokes’. But she couldn’t decide for any real reason that was comfortable for her. His main response was that his behavior was wrong and he wished he could turn back time.”
He was also lucky, in one respect. The people who reported Tony did not want to go to court. “I had all this worry on me,” he says. “Your name is in the newspaper, your address is in the newspaper, you are banned from football (by the court)… you are publicly humiliated.”
Instead, it is possible to find a sliver of positivity in Tony’s story. If the intention of Kick It Out is to educate people and make football a better place, Tony shows that it can be achieved.
Tony talks about passing on what he has learned to the friends who sit next to him in the Kop at Sheffield United. He admitted what he had done and told them to make sure they never repeat his mistakes. This also goes beyond football. “I work with gay people,” he says. “Before I went to this course, I probably would have told them something as a joke, but now I don’t. Because they’re not jokes, right? So I also took it to my workplace.”
Bush’s conclusion was that the person sitting across from him “didn’t need any prompting to show what appeared to be genuine remorse, understanding and empathy as he went through his learning journey.”
“I felt like (Tony) was honest with us when he talked about how embarrassed he was by his behavior,” Bush says. “My intuition, after looking into his eyes for a little over two hours, was that I was truly sorry for the pain his words may have caused. On this occasion, community resolution and an extrajudicial restorative approach was the appropriate solution.”
Sheffield United fans fill Bramall Lane. (Darren Staples/AFP via Getty Images)
The sport as a whole would probably need more specially trained experts who, like Bush, can pass on their knowledge in this area. After all, this is a time when more and more people are listening to Kick It Out’s message of speaking out against discriminatory acts. Last season, a record number of 1,007 complaints were registered. The numbers continue to rise, making the role even more vital.
Chants of tragedy have also begun to fall under Bush’s purview and, while he is keenly aware of the need for punishment, his firm belief for all different types of offenses is that clubs should not impose lifetime bans. “I hate that term,” he says, “because there’s no turning back.”
For the relevant people at Kick It Out, it is much better to educate the offenders and ensure that when those people are allowed back into the stadiums, they have changed their thinking and have a much better understanding of what is acceptable and what No.
Tony is the perfect example: a man who describes himself as “old school” but now also says he “appreciates underrepresented groups in today’s society and why it’s important to be respectful.”
He was allowed to return to Bramall Lane after signing an ‘ABC’ (an acceptable behavior contract) and says he would like to meet the fans who reported him. He wants to apologize properly.
He also did something no one on the Kick It Out course had done before: he emailed Bush the next day to ask if he could see him again. And that, for Bush, has to be a sign of a job well done.
“Thank you for inviting me to the Kick It Out session,” it said. “I really wanted to learn as much as possible from experts in the field like you. I found the course very informative and really eye-opening.
“I learned a whole range of things, from the differences between misogyny and sexism to what is and is not socially acceptable to say, shout or chant.
“I have gained vast amounts of information and am much more aware of the impact comments can have on other people. “I once again deeply apologize for my ignorant words.”
(Top photo: Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)
